First Generation Experience- Societal and Parental Expectations
Being the child of immigrants is a blessing, but growing up, it felt like a heavy load to carry. Parental and societal expectations can be overbearing. Especially as a first-generation college student, the pressure was on me to graduate and get a good job I’d keep for the next 30+ years. Can anyone else relate?
Release The Pressure
The amount of pressure put on first-generation children between parental and societal expectations is scary. I recognize it’s not intentional by our parents; ultimately, they don’t want to see us struggle as they did. However, we don’t get much time to think about what we want to do with our lives before college, which is the only option served to us on a platter. On the contrary, understandably, college is offered as our only option because most of our parents didn't get the opportunity to attend, and they've been conditioned to think that is the only route to success.
According to immigrant parents, you only have four career options: doctor, teacher, engineer, or lawyer, or else you’ll be a failure.
Success is the only option; you better start praying if you fail.
Growing up, my parents and family members told me college was the only way out. There was no other option but to go to college, graduate, and get a “secure job.” I realize that since COVID started and layoffs are happening, job security is not real. We’ve been conditioned to believe it because it’s what our parents see as the only avenue to success.
Parental and Societal Expectations
As a child, people tell you 'no' so many times, you watch your dreams diminish right before your eyes, and you experience more shutdowns than you can remember, all to mold you into what society wants you to be. We're molded this way because our parents were taught to be grateful for any little thing they received when they came to this country, and while it's important to be grateful, it's also perfectly fine to dream for and desire more.
Why doesn't anyone tell us other avenues we can take as children?
College isn’t for everyone; we must start getting comfortable with that. As the rise of boot camps appears, the gig economy and other entrepreneurial ventures grow. We see now more and more that degrees are becoming less valuable. We go to college and graduate to make our parents happy and end up thousands of dollars in debt, all to be in a career we perhaps don't even enjoy.
A life we aren’t passionate about, where we go through the motions. This is one of the reasons I wrote my second book, Dreams Don't Cost A Thing, to remind folks that this life we live is ours to create and nobody else's. We deserve to live prosperous lives.
We deserve to create the lives we want to live, not the lives our parents want us to live.
A Shift In The Narrative
In case you need a reminder to start living your life on your terms, here you go- Life, although in retrospect may be long, is very short.
I wrote my book to help young people feel they can live on their own terms. It is okay to be unsure and lost, but don’t stay where you don’t want to be. It is also okay to release parental and societal expectations that no longer serve you.
You deserve happiness; it is your birthright. You deserve to love what you are doing. Waking up every day shouldn't suck. It would help if you let go of any self-limiting beliefs imposed on you by others. Start creating new empowering beliefs to manifest the life you desire. I dive deeper into this in my book Dreams Don’t Cost A Thing.
Think About This
Have you gotten to the point where you don't feel fulfilled?
Do you feel your career doesn't align with your life purpose?
Do you feel less and less motivated to get out of bed in the morning?
You must decide for yourself and put yourself first because no one else can do that for you. With so many options and opportunities in this world, you have to have faith that something is out there for you, and if not, you create those opportunities for yourself.
My first step for you to start breaking free from societal expectations and immigrant parents' limiting beliefs is to figure out what you truly love.
What brings you joy?
What lights your fire?
What helps you get out of bed in the morning?
And go from there, day by day, doing more of these things to fill your cup and watch the world of blessings open before you.
Stop letting your parents, family, or society dictate how you should live.
Choose you.
Choose your dreams and desires.
It won’t be easy, but would you rather live a life filled with regret or a life filled with risk-taking to live out the life of your dreams? Will you continue playing it safe, or will you go big? You deserve to allow yourself to dream big.
